Apparently I Was Playing Summer on Beginner Mode

One random thought I've had lately: I find it somewhat funny that after moving to the actual Deep South this year, we're immediately heading north for the summer.

Now, before anyone who has lived here their entire life tells me, "Just wait, it gets worse," please know that I am already fully aware and mildly concerned.

I spent years in Tennessee thinking I understood summer. Sure, it got hot. There was humidity. You sweated while unloading groceries. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but it was manageable.

Then we moved to the Deep South and I learned there are apparently tiers of heat, and I had only been playing on beginner mode.

I was not prepared, my friends.

The heat here doesn't just exist around you—it actively participates in your day. You walk outside and immediately feel like you've wrapped yourself in a damp wool blanket that someone thoughtfully warmed in the dryer first. The air feels thick. Breathing feels optional.

I used to wear jeans and a T-shirt all summer long without giving it a second thought. Here? The idea sounds absolutely ridiculous. I break a sweat just checking the mailbox.

And can we talk about clothing for a moment?

I have actually found myself asking other women what bras they wear down here because the ones I've always worn suddenly feel like winter insulation. I am not particularly well-endowed by any means, but my gosh, the boob sweat is real.

Nobody prepared me for this.

There should be a welcome packet for newcomers.

"Congratulations on your move. Here are your hurricane evacuation routes, local gnat warnings, and a list of approved summer undergarments."

The adjustment has been humbling.

I used to think people who planned their entire day around the weather were being dramatic. Now I understand. There is a very specific window in the morning when outdoor activities are acceptable. Miss it, and you're basically volunteering to become a rotisserie chicken.

Even my gardening schedule has changed. The flowers seem perfectly happy with the heat. They are thriving.

I, on the other hand, am considering photosynthesis as an alternative lifestyle.

So yes, I find it a little ironic that after finally moving south, we're packing up and heading north for the summer.

Some people call that a vacation.

I call it a reprieve from boob sweat.