Rebuilding Home After a PCS: Finding Our Rhythm After a Military Move

Moving with a military family can be exhausting, emotional, and sometimes downright chaotic. After our most challenging PCS yet, we’re slowly unpacking boxes, rebuilding routines, and figuring out how to make a new house feel like home again.

Before I even start tackling the tower of boxes currently living in our living room, I find myself thinking about how every PCS feels a little like its own kind of storm—chaotic, unpredictable, and somehow still full of heart.

Every move leaves behind a collection of stories and moments that stick with you. Some are stressful, some are funny, and some turn into those family memories you end up laughing about years later.

And this last move?

It may have been our most challenging experience yet. This even includes the time when the brakes failed in the mountains with a newborn, all because of a malfunctioning power booster from Ford. My father-in-law delights in moments of failure from Ford, and we certainly don’t want to give him any more fodder.

The Reality of PCS Moves With Kids

If you’ve ever done a PCS without kids, it can almost feel organized. Everything lands where it belongs, unpacking takes a few days, and somehow you’re magically under the weight limit.

But let’s be honest—life without kids would be pretty dull.

Without them, you wouldn’t have a broken Minnie Mouse salt and pepper shaker because someone got curious during unpacking.

You wouldn’t have a five-year-old micromanaging the donation pile, insisting that shirts that now resemble crop tops still fit just fine.

And you definitely wouldn’t have the core memory of your son carefully kissing every single one of his construction trucks goodbye while the packer patiently waits for him to finish before sealing the box.

Because apparently construction trucks have feelings too.

You also probably wouldn’t set the record for best Tetris packing job at the weigh station because your small SUV had to hold nine stuffed animals that absolutely could not be left behind.

Favorites are very serious business when you're a child.

Of course, seven months later you might still hear about the one stuffed animal that didn’t make the trip.

In our case, that was Rainbow Snake.

Apparently Rainbow Snake missed her terribly and was going to be completely devastated without her.

It took me three days after the move to locate “Snakie.”

The level of relief in our house when that snake resurfaced could probably have powered a small city.

Unpacking and Rebuilding Routines After a PCS

But we made it.

Boxes are slowly disappearing.
Routines are slowly rebuilding.
And the house is slowly starting to feel like ours.

This is my fifth PCS, and I can safely say this one has made me realize I might be getting a little older.

I remember earlier moves where the entire house was unpacked within three days and I was already putting holes in the wall to hang decor.

Now?

My back goes out four days into moving boxes and I’m down for a week.

Decorating used to be such a joy. Now it feels more like a life-sized jigsaw puzzle.

These days I cut pieces of packing paper to the size of my picture frames and tape them to the wall with painter’s tape just to “test” the layout first. Sometimes I even leave them there for a few days to see if I still like it.

And while we all say we don’t have favorites when it comes to our children… unpacking family photos might tell a different story.

My firstborn has adorable framed photos from newborn to toddler to preschool years.

My second born?

One framed newborn picture.

Apparently the truth comes out during unpacking.

We’ve been here for over a month now, and I still haven’t figured out what to do with the TV wall.

The Tale of the Television

Speaking of the TV wall… let’s talk about the television for a moment.

Listen, I enjoy entertainment as much as anyone, but a 70-inch TV still feels slightly ridiculous to me.

The funny part is how we got it.

My son actually won it at a community event a few years ago. When they called his name, the shock alone nearly knocked me over. I think I just stood there with a strange mix of excitement and mild panic trying to figure out how in the world I was going to get it home.

If you’re a military spouse, you’re familiar with the mantra:

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way”—paired with a touch of, “I don’t need help; I’ve got this!” Yet, deep down, your back quietly protests, “Oh no, you can’t; you’ll regret this later!”

What added to the irony of the moment was that, not long before, he had accidentally broken our previous television using a toy hammer. Yes, you read that correctly—a toy hammer! Consider yourself warned, my friend.

My husband was away for work at the time, and I was running the house solo. The kids were watching cartoons while I took a quick shower nearby.

I remember rinsing shampoo out of my hair when my daughter started yelling for me.

When I stepped out and saw the scene… well, it didn’t require much explanation.

Huge mom fail.

So when my son later won a brand-new television, it felt like the universe decided to balance things out.

All was forgiven.

How We Make a New House Feel Like Home

Trying to unpack an entire house while running on burnout is not something I would recommend.

It’s getting there… slowly.

But the truth is we keep doing this because eventually it becomes home.

I always set a completely unrealistic goal of making each house feel as warm and comfortable as possible for my family—especially for the kids.

Which, according to my husband, explains why I keep buying rugs.

But a rug is more than just a rug.

It’s a soft place for kids to play.
It helps quiet the echo in these giant open-floor-plan homes that seem to be everywhere lately.

And if you grew up in a house with nine siblings like I did, you develop a deep appreciation for something very important:

Walls.

Walls are wonderful.

Walls, walls, walls.

But even without them, we’re building something here.

Slowly unpacking.
Slowly rebuilding routines.
Slowly finding calm again.

And somewhere between the boxes, the rugs, and the half-finished walls, this place will become home.

Because that’s the thing about this life.

Home isn’t really the house.

It’s the people unpacking the boxes with you.

A Few Things That Help After a PCS Move

Every move is different, but a few small things always seem to help our family settle a little faster:

• Unpack the kids’ rooms first so they have a familiar space
• Focus on creating one cozy area before tackling the whole house
• Give yourself permission to unpack slowly
• Rebuild routines before worrying about perfect decor

Moving is rarely graceful, but little by little, home finds its way back in.